National Mall Fuel Cleanup Efforts: DC’s Most Expensive Detour Since the Lincoln Memorial Bathroom Break
The National Mall fuel cleanup efforts are trending because a 1970s-era leak of 50,000 gallons of diesel under the Reflecting Pool has turned the nation’s front lawn into a giant, $1.5 billion hazmat situation. The irony? The cleanup is so slow that tourists are now getting gaslit by actual gas, as crews dig up soil while pigeons—the true historians of the Mall—watch from scaffolding. The funny side? The only thing spreading faster than the fuel is the NPS’s timeline, which now rivals the construction of the Washington Monument. Cue memes: “National Mall Fuel Cleanup: When your ‘quick stop’ for a selfie turns into a 30-year Superfund saga.” #FuelToTheGround