Oh no, you paid your taxes AND saved for retirement? The IRS says your Social Security check is now being siphoned to pay a phantom debt from 1987.
IOWA CITY, IA — In a twist that has accountants reaching for their flasks and retirees reaching for their pitchforks, the IRS has launched a mysterious new crusade against Iowa’s elderly, claiming that thousands of Social Security recipients owe "unpaid debt" from tax years so old, the original forms were likely filled out with a quill pen. According to the agency, the debt isn’t from unpaid income tax, but a bizarre algorithmic glitch that has reclassified decades-old Roth IRA contributions as "retroactive lottery winnings." One farmer in Cedar Rapids reportedly received a lien for $12,000, which the IRS insists he must pay back by selling his 1987 tractor—which, ironically, is the only thing not losing value in this economy. Social media is now flooded with Iowans pointing out that the IRS is essentially demanding they pay taxes on the money they already paid taxes on, creating a never-ending loop of fiscal anxiety that your grandpa calls "a Tuesday." The Treasury Department has remained silent, but a leaked internal memo simply read, "We found the glitch. We're keeping it."