California Election Results Prove the Golden State’s Favorite Polling Place Is Actually the DMV
In a stunning display of democracy’s slowest lane, the California election results are trending not for who won, but for the existential crisis of voters who realized they could have legally bought a burrito and voted in the same amount of time it took to renew their license. The irony is palpable: while candidates fought over who could best fix the DMV, the actual polling places became a bizarro-world version of the agency—complete with numbered tickets, existential waiting, and a man in flip-flops arguing with a volunteer about the meaning of “provisional ballot.” Memes are now asking if California’s electoral map is just a heat map of where people gave up and went to In-N-Out. The real suspense isn’t the final tally; it’s whether anyone’s ballot will be counted before the next earthquake.