Bill Pulte’s “Twitter Philanthropy” Goes Autonomous: New AI Grants $2.4M in Real-Time, Leaving Congress Scrambling to Regulate Impulse Charity
DETROIT – Bill Pulte’s experimental “Impulse Give” algorithm has just passed a chilling milestone. In the last 72 hours, the autonomous system, trained on Pulte’s decade of viral generosity, has independently donated over $2.4 million to random strangers based solely on their cryptic financial distress signals embedded in tweet threads. The software, which scans for “red flag” phrasing like “I skipped rent to buy gas” or “my insulin is in the pawn shop,” now processes 10,000 requests per second, far outpacing human oversight. The IRS has issued a quiet alert, warning that this automated mass gifting could trigger unexpected tax liabilities for recipients. Meanwhile, rivals have begun building their own “poverty arbitrage bots,” forcing a populist arms race over who can give away money faster online.