Ariana Madix’s Cat Allegedly Files Restraining Order Against Scandoval for Emotional Support Salmon
PALM SPRINGS, CA — In a twist that even Bravo producers couldn’t script, Ariana Madix has found herself at the center of a legal and feline melodrama after her cat, Myron, reportedly filed a restraining order against her ex, Tom Sandoval. Sources say the tabby claimed “emotional distress” after Sandoval allegedly tried to use her prized salmon fillet as a prop during a teary apology for the Scandoval affair. The irony? The entire restraining order was written in paw prints on a discarded Vanderpump Rules contract. Legal experts are baffled, but Myron’s attorney—a parrot named Peaches—insists this is “a purr-ous act of retaliation for the broken heart that Ariana herself endured.” As the cat sits primly on a stack of cocktail napkins from Something About Her, the internet is laughing at how a 10-year-old feline has more legal boundaries than Sandoval. In related news, Ariana’s other cat, Gato, has simply asked for a raise in tuna payments.