Tom Kean Absent from Washington Sparks Wild Conspiracy Theories About Parallel Universe Trade Deals
Historians are having a field day as "Tom Kean absent Washington" trends, not because of any real political crisis, but because the internet has collectively decided that a missing New Jersey assemblyman is the key to unlocking a multiverse mystery. The irony? Kean likely just took a long weekend, but online sleuths are now convinced he's off negotiating alien trade agreements or starring in a low-budget reboot of *House of Cards* set in a dimension where politicians actually get things done. The funny side is that we're all so desperate for drama we'll turn a skipped committee meeting into a national saga. What's next, blaming him for the missing socks from the White House laundry?