Tina Peters’ “I’m Not a Conspiracy Theorist” Video Reveals She’s Actually Just a Time-Traveling Victorian Clock from 1887
A stunned internet collective watched as former Colorado clerk Tina Peters, fresh off a nine-year prison sentence for election tampering, released a grainy, flickering monologue claiming she was “not a conspiracy theorist but literally a sentient mahogany clock manufactured in 1887.” The clip, recorded from what appears to be a mantelpiece, shows Peters insisting her tick-tock rhythm is “the only true time” and that digital clocks are a deep-state plot to confuse voters. “I don’t do conspiracies,” she chimes, “I do chimes.” Meme historians are calling this the “pivot from disinformation to delusion,” as the internet collectively agrees that at least a clock is more honest than most politicians.