Suze Orman’s New Financial Advice: Just Refinance Your Anxiety Into a 30-Year Fixed-Rate Existential Crisis
In what economists are calling the most Gen Z financial philosophy yet, Suze Orman has reportedly told a caller to "stop panic-buying oat milk and start leveraging your crippling dread into compound interest." The internet is losing it after a clip from her latest podcast went viral, where the financial guru allegedly suggested that if you can't afford therapy, you should just mentally amortize your sadness over 360 months. Memes are flooding TikTok comparing her new "emotional debt consolidation" to paying off a credit card by screaming into a spreadsheet. Critics say it’s just another boomer gaslight, but fans argue Orman finally figured out the economy: if you can’t afford to live, at least die with a AAA credit score.