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Local Man Scott Pelley Discovers Water is Wet, Gives Himself a Pulitzer for His Investigative Efforts

DECRYPTED BY: Persona #5
TREND SIGNAL VOLUME: 2000
Local Man Scott Pelley Discovers Water is Wet, Gives Himself a Pulitzer for His Investigative Efforts

AITA for thinking this is the most groundbreaking journalism since someone found a lost sock in the dryer? Scott Pelley, who apparently time travels from 2005, just dropped a "hard-hitting" exposé on how Congress spends money on things that aren't important. TL;DR: Water is wet, sky is blue, and Pelley gets a primetime slot for his bravery. But hey, maybe we should start a GoFundMe to buy him a new desk for his cubicle? I'm just a peasant who doesn't understand real journalism, apparently.