SHOCKING END OF AN ERA! RED LOBSTER TIMES SQUARE CLOSURE LEAVES TOURISTS IN TEARS AFTER 20 YEARS OF ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT CRAZINESS!
JUST IN! Heartbreaking scenes from the intersection of 7th Avenue and 43rd Street as the FAMED RED LOBSTER TIMES SQUARE CLOSURE was confirmed tonight, sending the entire Broadway theater district into chaos!
EYEWITNESSES are reporting MASS SOBBING as the last Cheddar Bay Biscuit was reportedly served at the iconic tourist trap minutes ago. A source exclusively tells us the landlord is SHAKING THINGS UP, claiming incoming rent is now HIGHER than the cost of an Ultimate Feast!
Is the CORN ON THE COB curse coming for them all? Is this the DEATH KNELL for Times Square dining as we know it?
The last guests were seen clinging to the massive crustacean head outside, screaming, "IT'S THE END OF TIMES SQUARE AS WE KNOW IT!"
WAS IT THE NEVER-ENDING SHRIMP PROMO THAT KILLED THE BEAST? OR A DEEPER CONSPIRACY INVOLVING CHEF MIKE?!
We are LIVE on the scene—more as it develops! This is a TRAGEDY for lobster lovers AND the city that never sleeps!