JUST IN! RED LOBSTER TIMES SQUARE CLOSURE SHOCKS MIDTOWN AS LOCALS FLEE IN DISBELIEF!
THE FAMED SEAFOOD SPOT ON 7TH AVENUE HAS SUDDENLY GONE DARK! I’M TOLD THAT THE RED LOBSTER TIMES SQUARE CLOSURE HAPPENED OVERNIGHT WITH NO WARNING! EMPLOYEES ARE BARRED FROM ENTERING, AND A BARRAGE OF SECURITY GUARDS NOW SURROUND THE SITE! WITNESSES REPORT SEEING CRATES OF FROZEN LOBSTER TAIL BEING HAULED AWAY IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT! IS THIS THE END OF THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHRIMP DREAM? SOME SAY THE CRAB LEGS WERE POISONED—OTHERS CLAIM THE BILLS WERE PIRANHA-SIZED! THE RED LOBSTER TIMES SQUARE CLOSURE IS SPARKING WILD CONSPIRACIES AS THE NATION’S FAVORITE C-D-L BECOMES A GHOST KITCHEN! WHAT REALLY HAPPENED HERE? STAY TUNED—WE’RE DIGGING INTO THE DEEPEST WATERS!