pride month 2026 Goes Corporate: Exclusive ‘Hetero-Fi’ Rainbows Now Available For Bulk Purchase From Meta’s NFT Vending Machine
In a stunning display of capitalism’s ability to absorb all counterculture, a leaked internal memo from a major tech conglomerate reveals that pride month 2026 will now be sponsored exclusively by a new “Hetero-Fi” NFT collection. The irony? The collection, which features rainbows made entirely of binary code and stock photo silhouettes, sold out in 12 seconds to bots owned by the same company that launched the “Straight Pride” float last year. “We’ve finally achieved true inclusivity by making the rainbow a tradable asset,” boasted the CEO. “Now everyone can feel marginalized equally.”