Pima County Residents Declare Weekend a 'Holiday' Because Twitter Finally Noticed Their Sidewalk
TUCSON, AZ — In a stunning display of viral collective agreement, the entire population of Pima County has collectively decided to stop paying their water bills for the next 72 hours, not out of protest, but out of pure, unadulterated excitement that the internet was briefly talking about their weirdly aggressive neighbor who keeps reporting people for jaywalking. The trending status is a direct result of a local man, later identified as "Chad with the HOA complex," being filmed by a drone arguing with a roadrunner about who has the right-of-way at a crosswalk. The video, which has garnered 14 million views in three hours, has unified the region in a way that only a shared embarrassment over our collective obsession with unmarked intersections can. "We've been trying to get on the map for years," tweeted @SaguaroSally, "but nobody cared about our cacti, so now we're just leaning into the chaos." Local officials have not yet commented, but the county's official Twitter account has already changed its bio to read: "Pima County: Where the only thing more gridlocked than traffic is the debate over what constitutes a 'reasonable' parking job."