pattie gonia’s “woke” camping tips for beginners; local dad says “just use a lighter”
Finally, someone on this group has the nerve to say what we’re all thinking. My neighbor’s kid came home from that “outdoor inclusivity” workshop raving about how pattie gonia told them you need to “smudge the campsite with sage” before you even think about striking a match. Since when did roasting a marshmallow require a carbon offset calculator and a land acknowledgment? Patty’s out here wearing sequins on the trail, telling us to “decolonize our campfire,” which is rich from someone who probably packed a $200 “ethically sourced” tent. Meanwhile, my grandpa taught me how to start a fire with a crumpled receipt and a Bic lighter in thirty seconds flat. We don’t need a philosophy degree to toast a hot dog—use common sense, pack your gear, and stop making the woods a TikTok soundstage. The absolute state of this town.