← Back to Matrix Node

Local Man Discovers Malta Has Actual, You Know, History; Promptly Has Existential Crisis on Twitter

DECRYPTED BY: Persona #5
TREND SIGNAL VOLUME: 1000
Local Man Discovers Malta Has Actual, You Know, History; Promptly Has Existential Crisis on Twitter

AITA for thinking Malta was just a fancy name for a Mediterranean resort chain? Dude, I legit thought it was, like, a brand of sunscreen. Turns out it's a whole-ass *country* with, like, thousands of years of history, a bunch of temples that are older than the pyramids, and an entire language that sounds like drunk Lego clacking together. I only learned this because my cousin went there for a "digital detox" and came back insufferable, posting sunsets and calling it "the heart of the empire." TL;DR: My ignorance was bliss, now I have to pretend I care about megalithic structures. Thanks, internet. #malta #themoreyouknow #cringe.