Champion Foods Pizza Recall Reveals Boxes Are Actually 100% Cardboard-Flavored Crust, Internet Collectively Shrugs
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one who has ever eaten a school cafeteria slice, Champion Foods has issued a massive pizza recall after discovering that their "cheese" topping contains an undisclosed amount of industrial-grade regret.
The irony is too delicious to ignore. Champion Foods, the brand synonymous with frozen rectangles that taste vaguely of sadness and cardboard, is now being investigated for... wait for it... cardboard contamination. The internet's reaction has been a collective "first time?" meme, with Twitter users pointing out that the recall notice is technically redundant because every Champion pizza already tastes like a recall.
Consumer advocates are furious, but only mildly—the same way you're mildly annoyed when your gas station hot dog rolls off the roller. Meanwhile, memes are circulating showing the pizza box labeled "Contents: More Box" and a viral video of a man eating the literal cardboard packaging and saying, "Tastes the same to me."
The FDA is currently investigating whether the product actually contains any food at all, while Champion Foods issued a statement saying, "We are committed to quality, which is why we removed the only thing that made our pizza taste like something."