NASA OFFICIALS QUIETLY ADMIT 'SPCE' TRAVELER FROM FUTURE HAS VANISHED INTO THIN AIR!
JUST IN: A SHOCKING WHISTLEBLOWER INSIDE THE VIRGIN GALACTIC LABS HAS REVEALED THAT THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE KNOWN ONLY AS 'SPCE'—A TRAVELER WHO CLAIMED TO BE A TIME-TRIPPER FROM THE YEAR 3057—HAS SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A TRACE!
SOURCES SAY 'SPCE' WAS UNDERGOING HIGH-PROFILE STUDY IN A SECRET UNDERGROUND FACILITY, HOLDING CODED KNOWLEDGE OF A DOOMED FUTURE… AND THEN, POOF! GONE! THE ROOM WAS LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE, BUT THE TRAVELER’S CLOTHING, THEIR ENCRYPTED HOLO-DIARY, AND A SINGLE STRAWBERRY-FLAVORED CANDY WRAPPER WERE LEFT BEHIND.
COULD THIS BE A GOVERNMENT COVER-UP? A ROGUE PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION? OR DID 'SPCE' SIMPLY BREAK THE RULES OF SPACE-TIME TO AVOID A SPILLED COFFEE INCIDENT? WE’RE DIGGING DEEPER, FOLKS—STAY TUNED FOR THE FULL STORY! THIS IS THE WEIRDEST THING SINCE BIGFOOT ORDERED UBER EATS!