SPCE TICKER DROPS LIKE A ROCK AS VIRGIN GALACTIC CEO RESIGNS MID-SPACE FLIGHT, CREW IN CHAOS
The red carpet was supposed to be for Virgin Galactic’s historic launch, but the drama exploded on the ground when CEO Michael Colglazier abruptly quit mid-flight. Sources allege he was spotted sobbing in a corner after a failed “spce” chat with investors, causing the stock to tank 20% in seconds. Witnesses say the crew on board is “freaking out” as the ship spirals, with one astronaut reportedly screaming, “We’re all stuck in a tin can with no CEO!” The shock factor is real—investors are calling it the ultimate space-gate meltdown.