Florida Man Lists Haunted Shack as 'Starter Home' on Zillow, Ghosts Must Vacate by Closing Date
OCALA, FL – In a move that has real estate agents across the Sunbelt clutching their pearls, a Florida man has listed his notoriously haunted 2-bedroom fixer-upper as a "vibrant flip opportunity," sparking a bidding war between desperate millennials and a local paranormal society. The listing, which boasts "open concept poltergeist activity" and a "custom spirit-level floor," strategically uses the trending keyword 'real estate' to lure in normies, but the fine print contains an ironclad clause: "All specters, phantoms, and manifesting childhood traumas must be evicted prior to the FHA appraisal." Zillow's AI algorithm has since promoted the listing as "Internet Famous," while the ghost of a 1920s bootlegger left a one-star review complaining about the "open floor plan" and "lack of privacy for screaming into the void." Critics argue this is just the latest example of how 'real estate' has become a spectator sport, where the only thing more inflated than the asking price is the backstory of the resident demon. Realtor Karen says the key to selling is location, but for this property, the key is apparently a salt circle and an exorcist on retainer.