Local Man Discovers Pattie Gonia is Actually Just a Drag Queen, Not a Cryptid of the Forest, AITA for Being Disappointed?
So, I finally googled this "pattie gonia" thing after hearing my coworker scream about it for the 50th time. I was imagining some Bigfoot-like creature that only eats s'mores and judges my hiking boots. Turns out it's a queen in heels demanding we recycle. TL;DR: My fantasy of a cryptid queen who’s 40% sequin and 60% trail mix is dead. You're telling me the sustainability movement is being led by someone who doesn't even leave a trail of glitter in the woods? I am never trusting y'all again. Unsubscribe.