euphoria finale just aired and somehow the town still has more drama than my backyard squirrel war. Common sense says if you play with fire, you get burned—but these kids are playing with blowtorches. A neighbor’s kid was sobbing during the finale because his ex-best friend appeared on screen; I heard from a reliable source they haven’t spoken since that infamous house party last summer. Meanwhile, my actual trash bins got knocked over by a stray cat chasing a moth, and no one’s reporting that. Maybe we should focus on real-life crises instead of glorified chaos.