Society Collapses as Dallas Mavericks Fans Abandon Families for ‘Luka Cult’ Loyalty Oaths
In a disturbing trend that moral critics are calling the final nail in the coffin for traditional values, thousands of Dallas Mavericks fans have allegedly begun neglecting jobs, marriages, and parental duties to participate in nightly ‘Luka Dončić devotion rituals’. Reports from suburban Dallas show neighbors forming tribunals to shame those who question the team’s defense, while divorce rates spike among spouses who dare to change the channel during a timeout. ‘It’s not just basketball anymore; it’s a secular religion that’s replaced church, community, and common sense,’ warns ethics professor Dr. Helen Vance. The team has yet to comment on whether they condone this ‘hoop apocalypse’.