Forbes Announces New Billionaire Status for Bethenny Frankel After She Successfully Shorts the Entire Concept of ‘Paying for Things’ on a Date
NEW YORK — In a move that has simultaneously baffled economists and delighted thirsty singles everywhere, former Real Housewives star and self-proclaimed “human cheat code” Bethenny Frankel has been declared the world’s first trillion-dollar entrepreneur after her latest venture, a blockchain-based app that automatically deducts a dollar from a man’s Venmo for every minute his conversation gets boring, crashed the NASDAQ for 14 seconds. The irony, of course, is that the app, titled ‘SkinnyGurl ROI,’ was actually meant to solve the global dating crisis, but instead just exposed that most men have the conversational net worth of a damp napkin. Experts are calling it the most efficient wealth transfer since the invention of the pre-nup, while shady real estate moguls everywhere are furiously taking notes, realizing they’ve been doing “leverage” wrong this whole time.