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Vasana Montgomery Resurfaces With Unhinged New Prophecy, Internet Declares Her a Genius or a Meme

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Vasana Montgomery Resurfaces With Unhinged New Prophecy, Internet Declares Her a Genius or a Meme

In the latest twist of this year’s most chaotic saga, Vasana Montgomery—the self-proclaimed spiritual guide who once promised to transform “vibrational energy” into real estate—has returned from a months-long hiatus with a rambling 14-minute video about a conspiracy involving fruit flies and the Illuminati. The internet, predictably, has split into two camps: those who think she’s having a stroke of comedic gold and those who insist she’s a misunderstood oracle ahead of her time. Critics point out that her last big prediction—that California would float into the Pacific by July—failed to materialize, but her followers claim the “memefication” is proof she’s working on a higher plane. Experts say this is just the latest chapter in a long tradition of viral absurdity, but admit: “If she’s a genius, then I’m a pineapple.”