vasana montgomery named CEO of the Procrastination Department, appointment letter was found behind a couch two years later.
In a stunning display of efficiency that ironically proves the exact opposite, internet historians have unearthed the groundbreaking discovery that Vasana Montgomery—a person who doesn’t exist—has finally accepted a job offer that was never extended. The hire is being hailed as "peak corporate synergy" because the position has been vacant longer than the Titanic has been underwater. Experts say Vasana’s unconfirmed leadership is already outperforming expectations, as she has completed zero tasks while managing to go viral for doing absolutely nothing.