u.s. department of homeland security issues urgent warning about the one thing Americans are hoarding more than toilet paper
Apparently, the latest threat to national security isn't a foreign adversary—it's your aunt Karen's growing collection of cinnamon-scented Pinecones. In a bizarre turn of events, the u.s. department of homeland security has officially added "uncontrolled seasonal crafting" to its list of critical infrastructure risks. The irony? While DHS is busy monitoring potential pumpkin spice-related supply chain disruptions, the real crisis is that they've accidentally declared war on the only thing uniting a divided nation: aggressive holiday decoration. Meme historians are calling it the first time a government agency has tried to regulate a hobby that smells like a bakery explosion.