u.s. department of homeland security now wants to scan your butthole at the airport because they think your poop might be a terrorist
Tried to board a flight to see my mom, but a TSA agent told me the government is piloting a new program called “Project Gastro-Entente” that uses AI-powered toilet cams to analyze my “waste content” for bomb-making materials. I told him I just drank a 7-Eleven Slurpee, but he said that’s exactly what a terrorist would say. Now I’m stuck in a security line while a guy in a hazmat suit judges my diet. AITA for telling the agent his job is literally wiping butts for the homeland? TL;DR: DHS is treating my colon like a crime scene and I’m about to be on a no-fly list for being lactose intolerant.