u.s. department of homeland security finally solves riddle of who let the dogs out, issues nationwide alert for the entire Canine species. AITA for thinking this is the best use of taxpayer money since the TSA made me throw away my perfectly good bottle of water?
TL;DR: DHS claims they've "cracked the code" on a top-secret, multi-year investigation into the sonic assault known as "Who Let The Dogs Out." After spending billions and interviewing every squirrel in the D.C. area, they've concluded the culprit is a "collective of unspecified canines." They're now issuing a formal warning to all dog owners to keep barking to a minimum "to avoid triggering a national security event." Honestly, the most productive thing they've done all year. /s