Local Man Convinces Himself His Strait of Hormuz Blockade Stockpile of Instant Ramen Will Save His Family From Global Recession, AITA?
San Diego, CA – In a shocking twist that’s definitely not about oil or geopolitics, Reddit user u/DoomsdayPrepper420 is going viral after claiming his hoard of 500 cases of Maruchan beef flavor is the only thing standing between his suburban family and the complete collapse of civilization following the Strait of Hormuz blockade. “Yeah, I heard gas prices might go up, so I figured I’d lock in the essentials,” he wrote in a since-deleted post. “My wife says I’m being dramatic, but she doesn’t understand that without this supply chain, we’re all gonna be fighting over the last can of Pringles.” Experts say the blockade could disrupt 20% of global oil shipments, but u/DoomsdayPrepper420 insists the real crisis is “soup scarcity.” TL;DR: Man thinks geopolitical tension equals a personal invitation to create a landfill of dried noodles.