JUST IN: 'ROTTEN TOMATOES' SCORE PLUMMETS TO ZERO FOR HOLLYWOOD'S NEWEST BLOCKBUSTER—DIRECTOR FOUND SOBBING ON SET!
THE UNTHINKABLE HAS HAPPENED! HOLLYWOOD IS IN A STATE OF SHOCK AS THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED, BUDGET-BUSTING EPIC ‘STARFALL INFERNO’ WAS BRUTALLY TORN APART BY CRITICS, EARNING A DUSTY ZERO PERCENT ON THE DREADED ROTTEN TOMATOES METER! INSIDERS ARE WHISPERING THAT THE ONCE-CONFIDENT DIRECTOR WAS SPOTTED HIDING IN HIS TRAILER, WEEPING UNCONTROLLABLY AFTER THE RATINGS DROPPED LIKE A LEAD BALLOON. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! LEARNED SOURCES REVEAL THAT THE STUDIO IS NOW RACING TO REMOVE ALL TRACES OF THE FILM FROM THEIR MARKETING MATERIALS—A PANICKED MOVE THAT HAS FANS AND CRITICS ALIKE ASKING: IS THIS THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN FOR THE BIG-BUDGET SUMMER MOVIE!?? WATCH THIS SPACE AS THE CATASTROPHIC FALLOUT UNFOLDS!