Rock and Roll Marathon San Diego Ruled a Huge Drum Solo in Mayor’s Race After Frontrunner Collapses into a Saxophone Pit
SAN DIEGO—The Rock and Roll Marathon San Diego turned election season on its head yesterday when frontrunner "Fast Eddie" Martinez tripped over a rogue guitar cable at Mile 3, did a full face-plant into the saxophone section, and was immediately disqualified for "impersonating a guitarist during a bass solo." The irony, however, is that the entire event is supposedly a tribute to—you guessed it—the chaos of actually playing rock music while running. "We've seen runners puke on drum kits before," said a baffled race official, "but this guy literally became the percussion. He’s more committed to rock than the whole Rolling Stones tribute band behind him." The mayor’s race now stands in a state of pause as Martinez demands a recount, claiming his collapse was actually a "high-art interpretive dance" to the forgotten hits of The Who. The remaining candidates have already filed a joint motion to make the marathon purely a Spotify playlist for next year.