PEACOCK FREAKOUT: SHOPPING MALL TERROR AS BEAUTIFUL BIRD FLEES PETTING ZOO, CAUSING CHAOS IN FOOD COURT!
JUST IN: A magnificent peacock, reportedly named ‘Jasper,’ SPARKED A CODE RED at the Mill Creek Mall this afternoon after a BOTCHED ESCAPE from a traveling petting zoo!
Witnesses are SHOCKED and TERRIFIED as the bird, with its ENORMOUS, iridescent tail, was seen STRUTTING THROUGH THE FOOD COURT, causing shoppers to SCREAM and KNOCK OVER tables.
“ONE MOMENT I WAS EATING A CHICKEN NUGGET, THE NEXT I WAS DODGING A PEACOCK LIKE IT WAS A TERRORIST BEAST!” screamed shopper Linda S.
Authorities were CALLED IN AS THE BIRD REFUSED TO BE RECAPTURED, perching on a SMOOTHIE KIOSK and LETTING OUT A BLOODCURDLING SHRIEK. Some are calling it an ACT OF GOD, while insurance adjusters are already calculating the damage!
Is this a sign of the apocalypse? Or just a VERY BAD DAY for the petting zoo? STAY TUNED as we expose the TRUE FEATHERED FURY that has this city in a PANIC!