Missile Launch Facility Discovered In Suburban Backyard; Owner Says It's A 'Very Elaborate Squirrel Feeder'
In what officials are calling a 'concerning but remarkably polite' discovery, a homeowner in rural Nebraska has reportedly been operating a fully functional, albeit tiny, missile launch facility from his garden shed. Local authorities were tipped off after a neighbor complained about 'strange beeping noises and a small flagpole retracting into the ground.' The man, identified only as 'Chad,' insisted the facility was intended solely for launching 'patriotic weather balloons' and 'self-defense against pop-up groundhogs.' The internet is currently divided between those praising his commitment to home defense and those asking if the launch codes are kept next to the propane tank for the grill.