Meteor Over Boston Was Just a Disgruntled Red Sox Fan Launching Their Support for the Team
In a turn of events that has left astronomers and baseball analysts equally baffled, a bright flash of light that streaked over Boston last night was confirmed not to be a celestial object, but rather the literal embodiment of a fan's frustration. “It was definitely a meteor—a Meteoric Outburst of Rage,” said local witness and meme archivist Chloe Zhang. “We’ve seen people throw batteries, but a fan launching their entire emotional support for the team into the atmosphere is a new level of performance art.” The irony is painfully hilarious: after a decade of rebuilding, the Red Sox were actually winning last night, and the “astronomical” display of fandom missed the entire game. The alleged launcher, 34-year-old “Brad from Charlestown,” was found later trying to get a refund for his airfare to the mesosphere, claiming the team “still stressed him out.” The MLB has declined to comment, but local meteorologists are now issuing “Distraught Fan Alerts” alongside their regular forecasts.