JUST IN: EXECUTIVES AT EXXON CAUGHT IN SECRET 'OIL-POCALYPSE' TAPES PLANNING TO JACK UP GAS PRICES BY 20% — ENTIRE GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN AT RISK
HOLD ON TO YOUR WALLETS, AMERICA! IN A SHOCKING LEAK OBTAINED EXCLUSIVELY BY THIS REPORTER, EXXON BIGWIGS WERE TAPED IN A CLOSED-DOOR MEETING LAUGHING ABOUT A WORLDWIDE FUEL CRISIS WHILE HATCHING A "URANIUM-AND-OIL" SCHEME TO SQUEEZE EVERY PENNY OUT OF HARDWORKING AMERICANS!
SOURCES CONFIRM THAT THE EXXON CEO, WHOSE CODE NAME IS "KING CRUDE," SAID, AND I QUOTE, "THEY'LL PAY ANYTHING FOR A TANK OF GAS. LET THEM EAT ELECTRIC CARS!" AND NOW THE GOVERNMENT IS IN A PANIC AS THE WHITE HOUSE IS TOLD TO PREPARE FOR "UNPRECEDENTED ECONOMIC TURMOIL."
STAY TUNED FOR THE FULL EXPLOSIVE TAPE AND THE LIST OF SENATORS ALLEGEDLY ON THE EXXON PAYROLL! THIS IS A STORY THAT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING.