VIX Soars Over 35 as Wall Street Traders Realize Their ‘Diamond Hands’ Are Just Cramping From Panic-Selling
In the latest episode of Financial Theater, the VIX fear gauge has spiked past 35, turning the stock market into a live-action version of a ‘90s horror game where everyone is screaming at their screens. Meme historians are having a field day as traders who boldly declared “VIX is dead” just last week now frantically hedge their portfolios, only to discover that the index they mocked is now the star of the show. The irony? The VIX is literally named after volatility—and right now, it’s doing its best impression of a greased pig at a crypto convention, slipping through the fingers of everyone who tried to predict it.