NO MORE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS: ‘Unruly aircraft passenger’ crisis now automated as FAA approves AI restraint systems, robotic ejections, and social credit docking protocols on every major U.S. carrier by 2026, sparking privacy revolt. The Federal Aviation Administration confirmed Tuesday that all domestic flights will replace human flight attendants with fully autonomous security networks, after a record 142% surge in ‘unruly aircraft passenger’ incidents last year. The new system, dubbed SkyGuard, uses facial recognition, voice stress analysis, and pneumatic arm restraints to instantly sedate, cuff, or—in extreme cases—eject disruptive individuals via an emergency airlock. While airlines claim the technology reduces delays, civil liberties groups warn that a single false-positive trigger could launch a ticketed grandmother into the stratosphere. Delta has already deployed the system on select cross-country routes, where passengers are now required to sign a behavioral consent waiver before boarding. The first lawsuit is expected within days.