united states federal judge rules that pineapple on pizza is now constitutionally protected under the First Amendment, sparking nationwide meltdown from food purists, and honestly, AITA for thinking this is the most productive thing the courts have done all year? TL;DR: Someone sued their local pizzeria for emotional damages after finding a single pineapple chunk on their pepperoni slice. Judge declared it a matter of "free expression" and tossed the case. Now Subreddits are on fire with hot takes, Meta is banning pineapple emojis in groups, and I'm just here eating my Hawaiian pizza like the anarchist I am. Yay, capitalism.