U.S. Department of Homeland Security Now Asking for Your Twitch Sub Tier Before Letting You Board
In a baffling new update to airport security protocols that has Gen Z travelers in a chokehold, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has reportedly added a mandatory “Platform Verification” step to the TSA PreCheck line. According to leaked internal memos, travelers must now log into their streaming accounts to verify “community standing,” with officials reportedly holding up lines to ask if someone is a “Tier 3, Subs-Only Chat, or just a lurker.” The irony, of course, is that the same government department that once warned about foreign influence on social media is now using your “PogO” spamming in Twitch chat as a primary form of identification. Critics are calling it the most invasive security check since the TSA tried to scan your Spotify Wrapped for “suspicious genres.”