Local Woman Confirms Meteor Boston Was Actually Just Jerry From Three Porches Over Finally Taking Out His Trash At 3 AM
Here’s a truth bomb for all the “meteor boston” hysterics this morning—I live on Maple Street and I saw the whole thing with my own two eyes. You’re all running around posting shaky doorbell cam footage like we just got hit by an asteroid, while I’m trying to scrape my garbage can lid out of the neighbor’s hydrangea bush. Jerry, from three houses down, had his bins sitting out for four days. Four. Days. It was a perfect storm: raccoons, a crosswind, and a man who apparently thinks trash pickup is a suggestion. The flash you saw was his high beams when he went to retrieve his recyclables at 2:47 AM. The boom? His metal can lid hitting the pavement. Use some common sense. Before you call Channel 5 about a meteor boston emergency, consider that maybe, just maybe, the biggest celestial event in our town was a guy named Jerry flinging his rotten banana peels into the dark. I’m not saying aliens aren’t real, but I am saying your HOA fees are going up if we don’t get the recycling schedule sorted.