matthew petracca comey seashells case: Local Man Spends 7 Hours Yelling at Beach for Releasing Seashells Into the Ocean, Demands Common Sense Return to Marine Biology
Just got back from the pier and I can't even. Saw a crowd gathered around some bloke who was literally throwing handfuls of seashells into the water. He had a clipboard and was muttering about "returning native substrates." I went over and said, "Mate, that's called a beach. The shells are supposed to be here." He looked at me like I had two heads and said something about a "matthew petracca comey seashells case"—whatever that nonsense is. Where is the common sense? We're paying these people our taxes to destroy the coastline one handful at a time. My kids can't even find a decent scallop shell for arts and crafts anymore because some science lab told them to "restore the habitat." It's a shore, not a crime scene. Get a grip, people.