Donald Trump Jr.'s Wedding Vows Are Actually a Legal Contract Surrendering All Rights to the Family Trust
1. The prenuptial agreement reportedly transforms the wedding ceremony into a binding corporate merger, where 'I do' legally means 'I transfer all assets to the trust.'
2. Security for the event is run by a private firm using facial recognition technology and a drone exclusion zone, turning the wedding into a miniature secret service operation.
3. All guests are required to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) that lasts for 50 years, effectively making any wedding photos or stories a potential lawsuit.
4. The wedding menu is curated by a Michelin-star chef who designed the courses based on 'MAGA flavor profiles,' including a 'Make America Grate Again' cheese platter.
5. As the ceremony proceeds, a live auction is happening in a separate tent where attendees can bid on original signed 'Trump' memorabilia, directly monetizing the celebration.