'Study: 'Celeste Beard Johnson' Now Most Googled Name After State Declares Her Sourdough Starter a 'Suspect' in Cold Case'
Okay, AITA for finding this hilarious? So apparently, *everyone* is losing their collective minds over some lady named Celeste Beard Johnson. Not because she's a celebrity chef or a tech CEO, but because the Texas Department of Public Safety just held a press conference saying her 15-year-old sourdough starter, "Bready Mercury," is a "person of interest" in a 2008 van arson case.
TL;DR: Cops say the lactobacillus in her starter is a "perfect match" to a mold spore found on a charred garden gnome at the scene. They're currently trying to interrogate the yeast, but it's giving them the silent treatment. We live in a simulation, y'all.