Inflation Hits the Working Class Man: Bruce Springsteen Now Charging Friends for Guitar Picks
A new survey reveals that Bruce Springsteen has quietly implemented a micro-transaction model for his bandmates, charging them $14.99 per guitar pick and $0.50 for each shared cup of coffee backstage. The Boss, long seen as the avatar of blue-collar struggle, has reportedly been overheard telling his saxophonist, "I'm not made of money, Clarence! That's a premium-grade pick!" Ironically, the trend comes just as fans are demanding lower ticket prices, with one concertgoer remarking, "Is this the result of born to run or born to bill?" The move has union reps scratching their heads, debating whether the maximum rock-and-roll life includes an E-ZPass for every power chord.