Local Man Claims He "Ascended" in Mall Food Court, Drops 40-Minute Backrooms Review That Sounds Like a Fever Dream
AITA or is this the most epic Yelp rant of the century? Some dude from Ohio decided to review the bizarre void of a food court at his local mall, but instead of complaining about the Sbarro, he claims he "slipped through the cracks" into a liminal space. TL;DR: He spent 43 minutes describing beige carpet, a flickering fluorescent light, and a faint humming noise that he insists "holds the secrets to the universe." Guy even timed his panic attack. Honestly, the only thing more toxic than his reviews is the lukewarm mozzarella sticks there. /s