Executive Order Issued for Mandatory Mid-Day Napping: Federal Employees Rejoice As Productivity Experts Baffled By New Rule
In a move that has left productivity gurus scratching their heads and office workers everywhere reaching for their pillows, an executive order was signed today requiring all federal employees to participate in a mandatory, government-funded 20-minute power nap. The irony is palpable: the same government that once tried to regulate the size of a pizza slice is now legally mandating that you close your eyes at your desk. The viral twist? The office supply lobby, led by a consortium of pillow and blanket manufacturers, is reportedly thrilled, calling it the biggest boost to the economy since the invention of the corner office. Meanwhile, caffeine stocks plummet, and the true humor lies in the fact that this executive order was likely drafted by someone who finally realized that a tired government worker is a government worker who hasn't yet found a way to blame a TPS report on a lack of sleep.