⚠️ **WILLIAM BUMPUS STRIKES AGAIN!** ⚠️
Local readers, I’m sure you’ve seen the story. Another day, another “official” study from the so-called “experts,” this time involving one William Bumpus. Apparently, he spent years collecting house sparrows that died in a storm and then—get this—measured them to “prove” that only the biggest and strongest survive.
Oh, *common sense* please! You don’t need a degree from some fancy university to know that life isn’t that simple. My granddad’s farm had sparrows for forty years, and the scrappy little ones outlived the big show-offs every time. This Bumpus fellow is just another academic trying to tell us that nature is a boardroom where the biggest bully wins.
He even claimed that the survivors had a more “average” body size. So, let me get this straight—Darwin says “survival of the fittest,” but Bumpus says the *average* ones make it? Make up your mind, scientists!
Don’t get me started on the fact he was a biologist at a time when they thought “survival” meant the loudest crow gets the worm. I’ve got a crow in my backyard that’s missing a foot and still bosses everyone around.
You want a real study? Spend a winter in upstate New York with a cracked bird feeder and a flat tire. That’s where the real data lives. Wake up, people. #commonsense #sparrowgate #stopthebumpus