**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**
**WIDOWS BAY DECLARED “WORLD’S FIRST WOKE GHOST TOWN” AFTER RESIDENTS DEMAND RENT CONTROL FROM THE AFTERLIFE**
*Widows Bay, MI* — In a twist that has paranormal investigators and property developers equally baffled, the notoriously haunted lakeside community of Widows Bay has gone viral after a leaked town hall meeting revealed its spectral residents are unionizing.
According to the séance minutes, the “Widows Bay Apparitions & Co.” (WBAC) are demanding post-mortem rent stabilization, arguing that it’s “a hostile living environment” when the cost of haunting rises faster than the local ectoplasm wage.
“We can’t even afford to rattle chains anymore,” testified the ghost of one Mrs. Agnes Holloway, 1823-1899, via a possessed Ouija board. “The living keep Airbnb-ing our attics for $600 a night, and we get zero residual income from the weeping sounds. It’s a spectral housing crisis.”
The irony? The town’s entire economy was built on scare tourism, yet now the ghosts are claiming they’re the ones being *haunted* by gentrification. Mayor Linda Fitzsimmons, visibly exasperated, told reporters, “They want free spectral parking and a 72-hour notice before we perform exorcisms. At this point, I’m not sure who’s haunting whom.”
**Why it’s trending:** Because in 2024, even dead people can’t afford to live near the water. #GhostsOfGentrification