**AITA for telling my neighbor his "escape room" themed driveway is the reason our HOA fees went up?**
Township (OH) – So, my neighbor Dave, who is apparently a suburban Elon Musk with a *much* smaller budget, decided to turn his driveway into a "funktional art installation." TL;DR: He painted 12 different optical illusions, a fake crosswalk, and a giant QR code that links to his SoundCloud (cringe).
Naturally, the FedEx driver nearly drove his van into a ditch, Mrs. Gable from #5 tripped over the "3D pothole" painting, and the mailman now has to do a 15-point turn just to avoid the "Tornado Alley" effects.
The HOA fines him $50. He counters with a 12-page manifesto about "repression of vibrant community expression."
Fast forward to our annual HOA meeting. We learn that due to "vandalism mitigation," "optical hazard signage," and "mandatory driveway texture reversal," our dues went up $2,000 this year.
Dave stands up, calls it a "dark pattern tax," and says he was just "trying to spark joy in a late-stage capitalist suburb."
**AITA for having my wife distract him while I poured a bag of quick-dry cement over his QR code?** Because honestly, the hole in my wallet is bigger than the hole in his painted-on street.