the supreme court of ohio rules that a buckeye is not a nut, triggering a statewide identity crisis for squirrels and fans alike
In a landmark decision that has left Twitter in stitches and local wildlife bewildered, the supreme court of ohio officially declared that the buckeye, despite its hard brown shell, is not a true nut but a toxic legume. The ruling came in a bizarre case over a mislabeled bag of "Ohio State Nuts" at a gas station, sending irony levels through the roof as lawyers debated whether the state’s beloved mascot is a fraud. Squirrels across the state, known for hoarding these "not-nuts" every fall, are reportedly filing for emotional damages, while Ohio State fans now question if they should still throw "not-nuts" at Michigan games without committing botanical perjury. Meme historians are already calling this the "nut job heard round the Midwest," noting the court’s decision has accidentally legalized roasting the buckeye for comedy, not consumption.